Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
birth control should be required to get into college
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
