YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
