It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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