but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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