allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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