He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
