i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
