if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
This is classic penis vs brain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize