she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
