Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
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