it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
