Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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