I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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