What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
