I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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