Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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