my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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