too bad you live with your parents still
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize