My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
