I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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