I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
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