I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
My hand turned me down
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
two words...techno handjob
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Randomize
