That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
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