I want to make a zoo with you.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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