Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
