The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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