yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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