my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
