Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
