I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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