Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
The adults are the big ones right?
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