guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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