you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Randomize
