Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
