i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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