You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
