Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Randomize
