on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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