yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
