Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Randomize
