Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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