I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
