Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
should my penis look like a turkey
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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