sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
