How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
