Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
What a dumb baby whore.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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