thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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