Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
