he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
