Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
