The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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