My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize