Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
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