You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
