Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize