how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
this is an emotional support booty call
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
