it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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