I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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